Happy New Year!
By2017 was a roller coaster ride for us and I find reflecting useful, both for putting things in perspective and for moving forward. Here we go!
The company that I worked for these past 12 years changed dramatically, and I decided The Blue Brick was a better place for me. It was hard and scary and I miss free time and regular pay cheques, but The Blue Brick benefitted greatly from my presence full time. I never thought I would leave that job, but looking back I’m glad I took the leap.
We launched Ombré Knits; our first pattern collection, started our pop-up colour line, developed and added a tonal line and hired our first two employees (including my dad! Yay for daddy time!).
We launched several patterns, attended lots of festivals and spent time out west at Vogue Seattle and Knit City, thanks to Valley Yarns and the Nifty Knitter.We expanded to the US and formed partnerships with lots of new Brick-and-Mortar stores across Canada. We received a write-up in Vogue Magazine, spoke at several guild meetings and met tons of new friends. We finished up with our first of what will hopefully be an annual tradition; The Blue Brick Holiday Party. It was a great year for The Blue Brick.
There was also loss. My father in law passed in November, after a long and courageous battle with cancer. Kali lost her father over the summer. Our family cat, Ollie, passed away last month. I am of mixed feelings about revealing this next bit, but I’m going to say it in the hopes that it’s helpful to someone to know that my life isn’t my instagram feed; this year I had two miscarriages.
Each miscarriage was followed by periods of depression, poor eating, anemia and sleeplessness. Orders were late, people were mad, and I was trying not to talk too much about it. I felt so many things, loss, guilt, like I was copping out, talking about it too much, (oh god, not playing the miscarriage card again!) and making a mountain out of a molehill. I felt like I was asking for sympathy, making people feel awkward and airing my dirty laundry. I felt the responsibility to care for everyone else’s feelings (How are they gonna react? Are they sick of hearing me complain?) instead of my own. I tried to hide it on a professional level, to keep my social media posts upbeat and happy, to not ask for more time on order fulfillment. I’m still not sure if that was even healthy, but that’s what I did.
I know someone who raises highland cattle and works three jobs to support her cows. I know someone who makes complex chainmail while suffering MS. I think all small business owners know what I’m talking about here, when it comes to loss, sickness and grief. We pour our hearts into what we do, knowing the sacrifice it takes. It’s hard to get time away and it’s easy to put our needs last.
“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”- Plato/ Philo of Alexandria/anonymous
Sammy and Arya were the willing recipients of my pent-up maternal tensions. I poured all my emotion into yarn, and into Arya who was just a puppy and played a huge role in the healing process. Sometimes I just wanted to fling my phone across the room but instead I’d take a cute photo of her and post it online. Never, ever underestimate the healing power of animals.
Lest anyone think it was just a terrible year, read on!
The greatest part of our year, no contest, was getting the girls. Sam and Arya are the loves of my life, and my babies in every sense that matters. Sammy’s journey in particular has been beautiful to watch and has made me feel that I have done something worthwhile to steward a little life, which is mama enough for me. I cannot imagine life without them.
Among other amazing people, I met Kali, a friend who has been there in countless ways already, even though we haven’t actually known each other a year yet! Brandt, Treena, Bob, Linda, Lindsay and Ruth, Annika and Susie, my entire weaving guild,*everyone* at the Nifty Knitter, I know I’m forgetting names here, but so, so many wonderful new faces in my life.
My parents moved to Burlington to be close to us and to support us, which has meant the world to me.
The summer rocked. We tried to be done with dyeing by about 3pm every day, which meant beer and burgers on the back patio, knitting and reading and napping and all kinds of long, warm, awesome weekday evenings. Every Tuesday mom comes over with fresh bones for the girls. We built a gazebo.
I joined the local weaving guild and took a weaving class with an amazing teacher; so I learned how to warp my 8-shaft loom at last! I’m so excited to see where my weaving adventure takes me.
A few weeks ago I received the unexpected message that, with enough training and commitment, I might be able to qualify for my Sandan (Third Degree Black Belt) this coming year. I was electric with happiness when I got the word, and immediately afterwards humbled, scared and uncertain, coming on the heels of my physical condition (or lack thereof) and poor performance in class. I don’t feel worthy, but I’m ready to work to get there, and come what may, I know I’ll try my best. I’ll post progress and training shots online!
This coming year we’ve got big plans. I’m going to start teaching dyeing workshops around the GTA and hopefully some of the festivals; tonal and ombré! I enjoy teaching and inspiring so hopefully I’ll get a chance to connect with some of you there.
Ombré Knits 2 is in the works; and I’m so excited about the patterns, which will leverage ombré and tonal together for exciting new projects.
Sammy is getting her own colourway and I’m hoping to start a fund-raising initiative for the Niagara Dog Rescue – more on that come Sammy’s homecoming anniversary.
My focus this year is community; I want to meet as many of you as possible, do KALs together, teach workshops, have knit nights, do guild talks and just generally feel more connected to the core group of knitters who have always gone out of their way to support us. You are my foundation, even if you don’t know it yet, and you are why we do what we do!
We wish everyone a healthy, happy, creative 2018 filled with peace, love and inspiration. We can’t wait to spend more time with everyone and make beautiful things together!
Thank you for reading <3
With so much love,
Shireen, Tito, Sammy and Arya
I think 2017 was a tough year for a lot of us, in many different ways. The only path now is forward and there seems to be a general sense of optimism at the start of this new year. Hopefully, your healing will come, through new projects, new friends and the sweet memories of those you have lost.
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We love you and support you. Happy New Year to you and your family (with two legs and four)! Wishing you a prosperous and happy 2018. <3
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What a beautiful inspirational post, Shireen. As I look back on 2017, I know that my struggles in the past year have helped to strengthen my resolve and encouraged me to understand others more. It is true we never truly know what others are going through and kindness is key. Thank you for sharing your reflection. I am excited to see what 2018 will bring and I want to wish you all a happy and healthy new year.
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Oh Shireen, your post has touched me so much. It can be so hard to talk about loss like you’ve had the past year. I wish you and Tito and those wonderful dogs of yours well this year. All your plans sound inspiring for the upcoming year. Thank you for sharing.
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Thank you for sharing all that’s happened this past year. I wish for you both an even more successful upcoming year. I so enjoy all of your posts on Instagram that show the journey that you and Tito have had with the dogs since you got them.
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2017 was not a good year for me with et . But I am willing to make The mis Rog 2018. Tale a good care of your business, husband, dogs and family. I am sure you will have a wonderful year. Thanks for sharing it with us.
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Sending hugs your way, you’ve coped incredibly well with a difficult year, I hope 2018 brings you happiness and success.
I’m also thinking we need another trip to Canada, I would LOVE to attend a dying workshop with you!
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Love your work. Sorry to hear 2017 had so many challenges but sounds like you squeezed out the positive when you could. As far as the miscarriages, I know. I had 4. I was in the place you were – tell people so they understand or keep it to yourself and have people wonder why you’re so emotional. Anyhow, being stubborn, I tried one more time. No medical intervention, just thought we’d give it one more try. I get the depression, physical and emotional strain. Every time was harder to get over. But, happily in 5th attempt gave birth at 37 weeks to a very healthy boy AND girl:) Not saying you need to keep trying- it’s a personal decision when you stop and accept a different path. But should you want to, know that even when it seems impossible and darkest, life can pull out a surprise. Good luck with whatever you guys decide. Will continue to admire your work, and beautiful family:)
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How do we in the US get to know you and your yarns better? I love what I see online and appreciate your journey (also a business owner with real life challenges). Your future looks very bright.
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You’re so sweet Deb! We only have one supplier right now in a brick and beam store; Nifty Knitter in Seattle WA, or you can always order online through http://shop.thebluebrick.ca :)
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Oh my! I just read this and certainly want to say that I am sorry for your losses this past year. I would never have called you or sent messages of inquiry about yarn had I known all this. Please forgive me. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Take the time you need and know that you are supported by many. Kiss your furry loves for me!!!!
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Thank you for sharing your candid, heartfelt experiences of 2017. I first saw your yarns and book at the Kitchener Knitters’ Fair and immediately fell in love with your creations. I follow your Instagram feed and always enjoy seeing pics of your fur babies. One of our dogs passed at the end of 2017 and we miss her so much. Your 3017 reflection captures many positive, warm memories along with the heartbreaking and in this way you have given me pause to stop and remember the goods things right beside me. Thank you again. More orders will be coming your way! 😊
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