• The Earth Tones Collection

    Wearable, perfect neutrals

    In contrast to last month’s work, which was entirely punchy and hot (literally, it was the hothouse collection) this month’s work is understated and subdued. In a good way.

    When I go shopping for yarn for myself, I tend to match what I like to wear. I wear earth tones, naturals and neutrals, I like deep dark blues, light sweet mints, and tones like rust, rose, moss and that colour you see when the papery bark on a birch tree is peeling off.

    “A neutral palette is universally appropriate.” – ― Lucy Parker, Battle Royal

    I’ve been using art therapy as a way to balance out some of the challenges life has thrown our way lately, and while I knew I would enjoy it, I didn’t think overmuch about how it would impact my dyeing.

    This collection, in a way, reflects what I’ve learned. I’ve added a toning “underpainting” to these yarns, and used a limited palette to create my fades. I’ve gone with “less is more” when it came to colour. This is quite a departure from dyeing to match my photography, where I use as many colours as it takes to recreate the tones in the inspiration image.

    As a result, I found these calming to make, not just a joy to develop, but relaxing to look at. I hope you’ll find them as easy to style, and to wear, as I’m imagining they’ll be.

    “Color helps to express light, not the physical phenomenon, but the only light that really exists, that in the artist’s brain.”
    – Henri Matisse

    “Color! What a deep and mysterious language, the language of dreams.”
    – Paul Gauguin

    I agree :) you?

  • Useless is Subjective

    Hamilton General Hospital has lousy parking. So every time mom and I go, we have to vie for space in the public lots across the street. 

    There’s this guy, just shy of five feet maybe, rotund, grumpy, elderly, and he sits in a little booth adjacent to the payment machine. Now I COULD just go to the machine, stick in my card, opt in for some time, and take my ticket, but no. 

    What I will hear instead is “hold it right there missy.” in a gravelly voice that implies I was about to do something totally, hopelessly, above my pay grade and I had better, gosh darn it, pump my brakes.

    So I pause, as I always do. Sometimes I’ll even act confused, you know, lay it on a little thick. 

    This little dude looks out from inside his booth and sighs dramatically. I’ve ruined his day. I’ve obliged him to get up. He looks pointedly at his watch “another one? Geez”. He eases his way gingerly off his seat, accompanied by all the audible hallmarks of both pain and exasperation, and makes the two-step effort to get to me. He looks up. Oh! you again! Well, now things are marginally better. He straightens up to his full 4 ft 9, grins roguishly and asks me for me card in a thick Italian accent.

    I give him my card, bemused but charmed. Then, he puts it in the same machine we’re both standing in front of. He asks in a gruff voice “hospital again, honey?”. I nod, then I sigh, it’s our routine. Maybe I cuss offhandedly. He sighs in solidarity and mutters “be there all fuckin’ day then” in disgust. Like he always does. Then he presses the same button I could have pressed.

    Then he removes the card and gives it to me. He takes my parking slip and gives it to me. I say “so long, handsome”. He says “so long, honey”. I wander back to the car. 

    Basically, this guy is technically a totally unnecessary middleman for the parking machine, but one that adds so much cantankerous charm to my pre-hospital parking experience. And you know what? He’s my hero. It’s the little things (pun intended).

  • I hate my EV. An Essay.

    So my uncle loans me this car. A fully electric, bright blue and white, Kia Soul. 

    I have exactly zero cars at the moment… so a free car sounds kind of amazing, and also my uncle is being super sweet. And I’m a hippie. Electric? Green? Be still my liberal heart. 

    I should add, I can rock my raybans, wind in my hair, blasting Black Sabbath and literally wearing my black belt and still fail, utterly, to look cool in this car. 

    The car apparently has a 200km range on it when the battery is full. If you have read the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, you may be familiar with the concept of “Bistromatics”. This refers to a number that can only be anything OTHER than what it purports to be. In this case, a 200 km range.

    Perhaps it’s 200km on a level road, in good weather, at a constant speed, with no stereo, no climate control, and barely any load excepting, perhaps, a reasonably svelte driver who doesn’t mind carrying on a running dialogue of pep-talking the car.

    Otherwise, it’s something like 75k before the car gently and politely starts telling you that you’re utterly fucked in about 25k. It likes to tell you this when it’s >25k from home.

    So, I’m on my way home at night when this happens. I have never experienced having to plug in a car. The whole idea is surreal. Is there a dynamo crank? A place to stuff a couple of AA batteries? Does it have a remote control? I have no idea where to go, what it costs, how long it takes. I pull over in downtown Hamilton and go to the dojo at McMaster U, the only place I can think of that will have chargers.

    Then I have to work out how to use it. Download an app, create an account, load up some credits, plug in your car like a glorified toy and… sit in it. With no heat and no music. For however long it takes. Longer, presumably, than charging a phone.

    I spend a few hours in a foul mood, in the dojo parking lot, at midnight, fuming. 

    So I crawl in cold and hungry and irate after midnight last night, declaring loudly that this car is not for me. Everyone wants me to love the car. I do not love the car. I do not even have a genial relationship with the car. The capability of the car is one step above an e-bike with a slightly oversized basket. 

    Tito regales me with all the things I could have done differently to avoid this, while I sit there and protest that I DID do all these things, that I AM smarter than the average bear, that I DO know how to read the gauges. Then I insist on taking my parents civic because fuck-this-YOU-drive-the-thing-since-you’re-so-smart.

    This evening he calls me up around 9pm and tells me “I ran out of battery, please come get me”.

  • Welcome to the old Blue Brick Blog :)

    We still post here, but the main attraction is our online shop ;)

    SOMEONE TOLD ME ONCE…

    A million years ago, when I was early in my days of corporate marketing, that every professional should be able to explain what they do, and why it’s special, in the time it would take to ride an elevator. So, here goes :)

    We dye gradient yarn, that’s the practical upshot of it. We hand-paint it a yard at a time using a super secret method that we invented. This allows us to create smooth fades on smooth yarns, and also to vary greatly our bases and yardages, because we don’t rely on pre-knitted blanks. 

    Generally, our colours have been based off our work as photographers, though we do break from that mold once in a while ;) 

    We offer 5 main yardages, ranging from 300 to 1600 yards. This flexibility means it’s one ball to one shawl, with no need to stripe in skeins. We also craft gradient sweater kits and accessories.

    Too long? Has our stop passed? Cool, let the images speak for themselves. 

    Gallery of images showcasing the work of the blue brick
  • You, again.

    I’ll be renewing my attention to the blog/blargh =D I know this sounds odd, because my time these days (or lack thereof) means that I respond to emails with a frequency that’s just below luddite, and just (barely) above dead.

    However, I have compelling reasons to keep this thing alive, so I’ll be popping in once in a while to let my hair down and blargh on.

    This morning I’m sitting in the living room, I’ve just made a cup of tea, the sun is streaming in and….no, wait, that’s wrong. This morning someone banged loudly on the door at a crazy hour to inform me that they were going to tear up the sidewalk, and could I move my car? I plead, of course, my current loaner is an EV that’s basically useless if I can’t plug it in (more on that later).

    He shrugs and says “sorry about that”.
    Me: “Well, are you going to pour it today?”.
    Him: “Yeah, but you can’t put the car back for three days”
    Me: “But my EV is useless if I can’t plug it in”
    Him: “We piss people off a lot”.

    Perhaps I’ll get my ass in gear to direct my posts towards marketing my business, but hey, I never expected to come back to this party. Gimme a few days ;)

    Here’s something pretty and new and you should go check out the store.
    There, I did it!

    Four Skeins of earth toned yarn
  • We’re getting the store ready to reopen after a three month hiatus taken to move, expand, hire, renovate, innovate, and tackle a massive order list, the likes of which will probably give me the heebie jeebies for years to come ;)

    Store update lands on August 1st, at 11am EST

    We are *not* fully caught up folks, and for that I apologize. I honestly thought July would be it, but scaling opens a Pandora’s box of problems, all of which take time away from dyeing. We’ve had a roof leak, humidity and yarn drying issues, we had to wait to get internet, hot water, gas lines and electrical upgrades. We spent a lot of time trying to make sure we were as transparent as possible with customers and posting regular updates. But yes, I also kept creating because that’s what I do. It’s like breathing.

    Please note a few things:

    • New orders will not supercede old orders. If you are waiting on yarn, your place in the queue will not change. These new orders will take 4-6 weeks to fulfill.
    • There will be a cap on how much we post of any given thing. When they sell out, they are gone for now but will be restocked every few weeks as we get caught up.
    • We ask that, for this first sale, you not ask us to combine shipping with an older order. Just this once, just so we can keep our older orders flowing without a hitch.

    Disclaimers done :) Here is what we’re bringing to market!

    Sweater Kits! I’m so proud of these. They are crafted specifically for creating gradient sweaters by utilizing a massive body gradient, two sleeve gradients, and “extension skeins” for the top and bottom. At the moment they are best suited to top down, in the round patterns (shown here in Flax Light by Tin Can Knits) and you will need to work to sleeve separation with the main yoke colour before changing to a gradient; to ensure a seamless transition to the sleeves.

    IMG_2066

    Sizes and Pricing will be as follows. As always, all prices are in Canadian dollars:
    Screen Shot 2019-07-31 at 2.48.25 PM

    Sweater Kits will only be available in 6 colours to start:
    Feather, Copper Slate, Rose Gold, Nicaragua, Waterfall and the slightly modified Seafoam shown in the sample above.
    IMG_1979
    Next up – Mega Skeins! With the new space and my upgraded equipment I can dye larger than ever. Because I don’t dye from blanks, I can offer almost any yardage or fiber you can think of! Our new offerings are:

    DK Weight Wooly Mammoth – 800 yards in one continuous gradient – $75
    Aran/Worsted Weight Wooly Mammoth – 600 yards in one continuous gradient – $85

    And now…

    BEAST MODE – 1200 yards in one continuous gradient – created for the new Wingspan size by Vector Knits.
    Killarney Sock: $89
    Cashmere Sparkle: $115

    DK Mammoth, Aran/Worsted Mammoth and Beast Mode Mammoth will only be available in these colours to start: Feather, Pigeon, Copper Slate, Ibis, Nicaragua, Muscovy, Aurora, Heron, Waterfall and Seafoam.

    IMG_2104

    There is more! We’re having an opening party to celebrate the new space :) Please visit this link to RSVP. Please note that we are capping the party at 100 folks to make sure everyone has a good time with no crowding, and to make sure that we have enough food and drinks :) That means that if you definitely plan to come please mark yourself as “GOING” on facebook. It will be such a good time, with music and giveaways, a ribbon cutting, food, drink and prizes, an opportunity to buy from our heavily discounted seconds skeins, and we will also endeavour to stock some of our popular items so you can do a bit of shopping. My pups will be there, so we ask that you not bring your little ones just this one time, after that little ones are always welcome!

    Whew! There is so much more coming in the future folks, I’ve actually trimmed this down and held stuff back so you still have new things to get excited about come fall. We will have “Cup Cakes” which are Killarney sock skeins, caked up, and placed inside of a hand thrown teacup that’s glazed to match. There will be a big sister to that, “Coffee Cakes” which will be giant, comfort sized mugs glazed to match with wooly mammoth cakes inside; perfect for gifting! My kiln and wheel arrive in three weeks or so and I cannot wait to get started bringing new and lovely things to you. There will be resin jewelry, ceramic yarn bowls, and my much overdue Mediterranean Collection. Coming soon after will be a floral colour line, complete with the actual matching flower preserved in resin jewelry. There will be holiday parties and regular knit nights. There will be classes. I am so excited that my creative muscles are in overdrive, and frankly, happy to see that they’ve thrived, despite a very challenging spring and summer.

    As for my poor team, they are TROOPERS. Not to mention my poor husband who wryly asked if I wanted him to build a pen in the space next so we could “Just dye the entire bloody sheep and be over with it”. =D

    That’s all for now folks!
    Love
    S.

  • WHY Do I Stand with Ravelry?

    It’s been a few days since Rav posted a dramatic statement aimed at eliminating hate speech on their platform. In our 140 Character world, reposts, shares would have looked like this: 

    “New policy, effective immediately

    We are banning support of Donald Trump and his administration on Ravelry. We cannot provide a space that is inclusive of all and also allow support for open white supremacy. Support of the Trump administration is unambiguously support for white supremacy. For more details, read this document: https://ravelry.com/content/no-trump”.

    Even though Ravelry goes on to state that they are not banning conservatives or endorsing democrats, and that they do not condone hate speech of liberals against conservatives, it’s easy to see why a bunch of perfectly nice, non bigoted people feel targeted here. I’ve had the benefit of thoughtful dialogue with other dyers and customers since this happened and I’d like to expand on why I took the stance I did. 

    Let’s start with the complexities of getting political at all; first of all there is a cost to the business, undeniably. There have been massive refunds, loss of followers, and reams of angry messages. My own family have asked why the hell I’m sticking my neck out when my company is in a very vulnerable place, and they’re not wrong to do so because here is the thing;

    Getting to Canada is not easy. When many immigrants arrive there is a general sense of “Achievement unlocked. Now I shall work hard and keep my head down the rest of my life”. It’s a completely understandable stance to take; especially if you come from somewhere that isn’t easy. And probably you did, because the majority of people do not wish to leave the country of their birth unless their livelihoods or families are threatened. Contrary to popular rhetoric, no one wakes up in their homeland thinking “Today I think I’ll risk my life and the lives of those I care about to make an arduous journey to a faraway place so I can “Rip off the system” and “steal jobs”. 

    The result of that stance is that the people most often qualified to speak out against racism and bigotry … don’t. They have been conditioned to walk small, to work well, to live quietly and happily and not rock the boat. This is why white allies are critical, but they can’t do the job without us. 

    That’s my first reason, first gen children of immigrants often inherit this mentality, and I sure did. Which is why I felt the need to step up.

    Second; What Rav did was brave. The other major platforms are freely hosting hate speech; YouTube, Facebook and Twitter have protected their bottom line and the interests of their shareholders by not taking any meaningful stance or making any effective moves to de-platform those who use their services to spread and organize hate. As sad as it is, I get that. A corporation is beholden to its shareholders, and massive machines are difficult to move. I don’t agree with it, but I get it. So when Ravelry chose to take such a dramatic stand against hate I was impressed. The Blue Brick has a voice too; 17,500K IG followers and 28,000K FB followers. That’s a big voice. I chose to be brave, too, because I’m the sole owner of The Blue Brick and I can take a hit to stand up for what I believe in. 

    Third: There IS a rising tide of white supremacy. There are bigger and bolder movements. They have names that sound ok, like the Council of Conservative Citizens, The Creativity Alliance, the Canadian Heritage Alliance. The age of information and social media, plus the endorsement and empowerment of the POTUS himself is allowing their brand of hate to grow, spread and hurt people. We can’t allow this train to come in. We are all responsible for holding the line.

    Ok, so WHAT do I believe in, and WHY do I believe it?

    Ravelry’s stance is a hard line, and I admit I was initially shocked to see it. I thought long and hard about how it made me feel. 

    They thought about a metric that would define hate and bigotry. That metric could have been anything; flagging certain words on their site, barring certain users or patterns, or simply issuing a statement, without focus, that bigotry and hate would not be tolerated, but they chose support of Donald Trump as their metric. Not if you voted for him initially, not if you identify as a republican or a conservative, but if you vocally support Donald Trump specifically, why did they do this?

    Donald Trump is associated with things that, as a global community, are very painful. His crimes against women, children, minorities and the environment are too many to count. He has validated and empowered a white supremacy voice that, as a BIPOC woman is very frightening. It’s not even the man himself so much as it is what he stands for, what he inspires, and some of the groups he has empowered through his hate rhetoric.

    I feel strongly about this. If one supports the man then I don’t see how one separates him from grabbing women by the p***y, putting children in cages, forming relationships with other despots and perpetuating racist rhetoric. 

    I don’t believe it’s fair to call all who voted for him racists, but to those who support him still, despite the human rights violations, the rape accusations, the climate change denial, the horrors at the border…It’s hard not to feel that at some level they agree with, condone and empathize with him, and that’s where someone like me needs to draw a line too. 

    To those who have begun respectful dialogue I have respected their choices and responded in kind. I have not deleted anyone’s comments from my feed because I do listen to and respect their viewpoints, however different from my own. I realize that many different people support him for many different reasons, and I want you to know that I hear you. And I don’t hate you. I don’t think poorly of you and I am ready ready to listen when people want to have respectful dialogue. I have stated where I stand, but that is not to the exclusion of the feelings of others. Division serves no one. Listening with an open heart does. I want to learn and grow and give my energy to healing the divide, not widening it.

    I am not someone who likes to get political. I’m an artist who wants to fly under the radar and make lovely things. Speaking out is frightening. My business is in a precarious and vulnerable place as we scale, and alienating customers is the last thing I wish to do. I hope this demonstrates how deeply I felt in myself that it must have been the right thing to do, despite what it’s cost me, and there has been a cost; in followers, friends, mental and physical health, and revenue. I still believe that I am standing up for what’s right. I believe I have a responsibility to my community. 

    I’d like to thank you for the patience to read this far, and to share just a bit more if I may. This is a story that inspires me every day: 

    Flight of the Hummingbird: A Parable for the Environment, a book by Michael Nicoll Yahgulanaas

    The terrible fire raged and burned. All of the animals were afraid and fled from their homes. The elephant and the tiger, the beaver and the bear all ran, and above them the birds flew in a panic. They huddled at the edge of the forest and watched. All of the creatures gathered, except one. Only Dukdukdiya, the little hummingbird, would not abandon the forest. Dukdukdiya flew quickly to the stream. She picked up a single drop of water in her beak. 

    Dukdukdiya flew back and dropped the water on the fire. Again she flew to the stream and brought back another drop, and so she continued—back and forth, back and forth. The other animals watched Dukdukdiya’s tiny body fly against the enormous fire, and they were frightened. They called out to the little hummingbird, warning her of the dangers of the smoke and the heat. “What can I do?” sobbed the rabbit. “This fire is much too hot.” “There is too much smoke!” howled the wolf. 

    “My wings will burn! My beak is too small!” cried the owl. 

    But the little hummingbird persisted. She flew to and fro, picking up more water and dropping it, bead by bead, onto the burning forest.  Finally, the big bear said, “Little Dukdukdiya, what are you doing?” 

    Without stopping, Dukdukdiya looked down at all of the animals. She said, “I am doing what I can.” 

  • Heya folks, here’s a big update on where we’re at. 


    Just before Frolic we were 3 weeks out on our very latest order. We had one week to prepare for Frolic itself and there was a tragic, young, death in the family of our assistant dyers, leading to them leaving us before we had planned for it. Without my assistants, one 40 skein dye run takes 12 hours of girl power. I put it in and we got to frolic and wingspan landed and we sold far, far more than we expected to. Aviary and the wooly mammoths had already done well, and wingspan put us over the edge. At the moment it’s looking like 8-10 weeks  to get fully caught up.

    I have done everything I can to adjust to this unexpected turn of events; I obtained a new studio space, hired a new dye assistant, hired a customer service manager to make sure everyone was being heard, hired a developer to automate part of our process, and ordered enough new equipment to double our daily yield. During this process I am still dyeing every single day. I scaled back the store to inventory only, I cancelled our booths at Festival Twist, the Kawartha Festival, Barrie’s Fiber Spirit festival, and possibly even Kitchener Waterloo. 

    That means we have committed to a massive space and a five year lease with no current revenue, and no guarantee that the sales will come when we reopen. That’s terrifying, but it’s the risk we took to expedite our timelines. Every day that we do not promote, produce and sell we are losing market share. I remind myself that no small company becomes a big company without going through what we’re going through, but the fact remains that it’s scary stuff.

    We have been open from the moment we went viral; if you feel that the wait is too long you are 100% entitled to a full refund on the yarn. If you are alright with waiting then you have our undying gratitude and know that we are working as hard as we can.  

    Yes, Italy was poorly timed for us. Those tickets had been booked for a year and a half, since the day a dear friend got engaged. There were those who made it pretty clear that we had no business going, but we were not about to drop out on her wedding and, I promise you, we were wracked with guilt every day. To the point where I was very sick. If you’ve never tried to clean partially digested carpaccio out of a bidet I don’t recommend it. 

    As of the time of this writing we’ve been home 5 days. We’ve cleaned the space, laid down sub floor, primed and painted and gotten about a third of the way through the main floor. We’ve purchased and assembled furniture and begun to plan a space that will not only serve a functional purpose, but give our customers a place to come see us in person, pick up orders, enjoy knit nights with us, browse samples and swatches, and become part of our community. 

    The internet is a hard country. Lots of folks have encouraged me to look after myself, to take things at a reasonable pace. I love every single one of you. Lots of other dyers have sent messages of love and support for which I am immeasurably grateful. It won’t surprise you to hear that there are also angry people; who I encourage to reach out to us for full refunds. There are also cruel people who resort to accusations and name calling. They are more than welcome to get their orders cancelled and refunded.

    We do not invest much in advertising. Public opinion and the feedback we get online is everything to us. When that tide turns against us because of events out of our control we do our best to communicate, to resolve, and to expedite. We are only a four person business, not a big machine, and we are doing our absolute best. 

    If you have a concern, please, please reach out to us by email so we can find a way to make it right rather than bring us down publicly within the online community. As we see time and time again, the opinions of the online world can make or break businesses, lives and people. I will be perfectly frank and vulnerable here and tell you that all the commitments I’ve made recently have scared the daylights out of me, and I need to believe that our community will back us when we are ready to return. 

    Thank you for reading this far. Thank you for sticking with us this far.
    I promise the future holds fun things if we can just get though this.  

    Love

    S.

  • The Blue Brick has grown beautifully, but with that come the necessary growing pains and we are long overdue for an overhaul to the way our store works. Increasingly long lead times have, completely understandably, led to frustration for folks awaiting their yarn packages. Ombre is not like tonal yarns, and I can only dye so many per day, limited by the size of my basement. We are so busy these days that we have made the extremely difficult decision to back out of Festival Twist this year, one of our largest and most enjoyable events, because we cannot prepare the stock while still looking after online orders. I confess to wanting to roll my eyes at everyone who has told me “it’s a good problem to have” (tell my customers that!).

    We’ve talked about an inventory based store before, and I have generally avoided it because I didn’t want to limit what folks could get. However, it’s finally time to reduce our online store to inventory-only. We are not there yet, we’re going colour by colour as we generate sufficient inventory, with the goal of moving almost all yarns to an inventory basis within the next two months.

    Special colours, heavy metal, sweater quantities and collection releases will still be dyed to order due to volume.

    Ombre:

    • All moving to inventory.
    • The following colours are still available but when sold out, they’re gone: Maple, Cape Spear, Wheat Kings.

    Tonal:

    • Sock, lace, and Muskoka luxe are moving to inventory. Escarpment DK and Tobermory worsted are being left as-is; because if you order a sweater or blanket quantity I will need to dye it all in the same batch. These items will still be dyed to order as a result. If you want a sweater quantity of another base please email us, and we’ll be happy to help you place the order.

    What does that mean for our customers?

    Pros:

    • If you were able to order it, it’s already on our racks and ready to be shipped.
    • Bases that I have only a few of, but don’t normally carry, such as MCN sock, or worsted gradients, can be added to the inventory.
    • My dyeing life will be simplified. Once the colours are all up to date I’ll be dyeing to top up inventory, and not to fulfill orders. This should make for a more streamlined process at our end.

    Cons:

    • If you order more than one of the same colour you may want to add a note to the order letting me know if they’ll be used in the same project. Otherwise you will get the two skeins on the wall which may or may not be a perfect match.
    • If there is a colour you want and it’s not in stock it won’t be available. In that case you can definitely write to us and inquire after either a custom order, or when we plan on restocking.
    • During busy times, after festivals, or when our suppliers are backed up, there may be shortages in the online store. We will our best to level these out so they don’t impact the customer.

    We hope that this new system will allow us to fulfill more quickly and reliably once it’s in effect. Again, it will take time to fully top up and switch over all the colours, with the goal being two months out.

    Thank you everyone, for your patience with us as we get over these growing pains. Hopefully the new system is more comfortable for everyone!

     

     

  • So far, I’ve stayed out of the discussion on IG about racism and inclusion in the knitting world. I’ve never made a secret of the fact that I’m brown in my posts, or that my family is multi cultural. I grew up in the diverse city of Toronto, and felt that I hadn’t really experienced racism in any meaningful sense. 

    I also personally didn’t connect with a lot of the rhetoric, which didn’t seem conducive to positive change, and in some cases felt tantamount to bullying. I’m all for education, not shaming. I’m all for that which unites us, and against that which divides. I wasn’t personally a fan of having folks who were obviously well-intentioned with their hearts in the right place feeling super guilty all of a sudden for the circumstances of their birth. Historically, I’ve had way more trouble being a woman than I have being brown, and I feel strongly that us ladies need to stick together.

    Then, at Stitches West, I overheard this conversation in the washroom (from a stall, they couldn’t see me).  It was two vendors discussing the show, totally normal, and then one vendor said: “I didn’t make as much money as usual. I think it’s because it’s a very ethnic group this year and it’s full of trash who aren’t spending any money”.

    I came out of the stall, and we immediately all looked at the floor. So, before you ask, I don’t know who they were or what companies they represent. I scrubbed my hands, face burning, and ran out of there.

    I don’t know what made me feel worse, that I internalized the humiliation, even though the comment wasn’t intended for my ears, or directed at me, or that I immediately began gaslighting myself on their behalf. “Did I really hear that?”, “Maybe they meant something else?”. 

    Then I thought a little harder about my own past; I remembered that I initially took up Karate, 25 years ago, because my family was targeted in a racially motivated hate crime at Scarborough bluffs. That was a Big Obvious Thing, where anyone would get it. But there were also small insidious things, and they’re harder to get.  I realized that downplaying hurtful things is a trend. 

    Every time someone asked me “where are you from really, after repeatedly being told that I was born and bred in Toronto. Every time someone joked that I was “practically white” and meant it as a compliment. That time I made small talk about the weather at a baseball game and was told “we don’t get cold, we’re Canadians”, as though somehow I wasn’t (effectively divesting me of the only country I have). Every time a friend has said something racist and then exclaimed “I don’t mean you! You’re different!”. Every time someone was surprised that I didn’t have an accent, or that I turned out to be brown in person after only talking on the phone. When Saks Fifth Avenue opened in Toronto I went looking for a dress for a wedding. A staff member politely told me “the Bay is that way”, assuming I was lost. The list goes on. 

    So now I think, I need to say something on behalf of both myself and others. And you know what? I don’t even know what that something is. Maybe it’s as simple as “Hey, this happened, and I can’t pretend that it didn’t”, or “Hey, the problem is real”.  Part of me also wants to say “If you’re reading this, I sold plenty to BIPOC shoppers, so maybe you just suck.”, (It’s petty, I know).  

    Worth noting: the incident was reported to the organizers and they had a funny feeling they knew who the vendor was. That kinda tells me they have done this before, or have a reputation for being racist, but seem to be getting away with it, which is the point I’m trying to make. {EDIT – It was not my intention to imply that the organizers were complicit in any way, they were in fact horrified, and issued a general message to all vendors, which I have shared below}. And no, it wasn’t reported by me because I was still feeling awkward and humiliated about outing them. That tells me something else, about the tendency to internalize hate and redirect it to ourselves. So when people trying to instigate change come off as excessively forceful, perhaps we should have a little empathy towards them before we judge. 

    Having said that, this is worth a read:

    https://medium.com/s/digital-trauma/how-woke-became-a-weapon-304f265282df

    “Plenty of activists argue that shaming those who err while striving to help build a resistance is a counterintuitive practice. “To organize such a movement necessarily means that it will involve the previously uninitiated — those who are new to activism and organizing,” writes Keeanga-Yamahtta Taylor, a Black female activist and author of From #BlackLivesMatter to Black Liberation, in a piece reflecting on critiques of the history-making Women’s March. “We have to welcome those people and stop the arrogant and moralistic chastising of anyone who is not as ‘woke’… [movements] are built by actual people, with all their political questions, weaknesses, and strengths.””

    Another great quote:

     Patrisse Cullors, a queer Black woman and co-founder of the Black Lives Matter movement, spoke about the downfalls of woke shaming in an interview with Complex last year. “Woke shaming is really unfortunate,” Cullors said. “If we are trying to build a movement to save all of us, we need to be able to invoke faith in people who are new, who are learning, and who are willing to grow. There is a difference between people who are bigots and people who are trying to figure out their way in this. We should have patience.”

    Regarding how we can do better, maybe it doesn’t need to be Big Obvious Things. It can be little helpful things. When my dad worked as a factory manager he would stand by the punch clock in the morning and learned to greet everyone in their own language. Something I’ve always respected him for. Something to model myself after.

    “Treat everyone with politeness and kindness, not because they are nice, but because you are.”
    Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

    S.

     

    ___

    on Thursday February 28th, the organizational committee of Stitches West issued the message below:

    Dear Exhibitors!

    Yesterday Shireen from The Blue Brick Dyeworks posted online about a very disturbing incident that happened at STITCHES West.

    Sometime during the event, Shireen overheard this conversation in the washroom (from a stall). It was two vendors discussing the show – and one vendor said: “I didn’t make as much money as usual. I think it’s because it’s a very ethnic group this year and it’s full of trash who aren’t spending any money.”

    We condemn, unequivocally, their rhetoric and their overt racism.

    I think it’s important that we don’t shy away from this. So if you want to read the full account, here is the link…

    https://thebluebrick.ca/2019/02/27/racism-its-a-thing/

    We have reached out and apologized to Shireen.

    We don’t know who these vendors are. And, in case anyone is unsure about where we stand on this, we want to be very clear about our policy on this issue… if we ever see or hear of this kind of racism at our shows from any exhibitor, we will remove them and their company from the market floor and our event, then openly tell the world why.

    Thank you for you time and attention.

    Benjamin Levisay
    CEO
    XRX, Inc – STITCHES Events, XRX Books, & stitchips