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I hate my EV. An Essay.

I hate my EV. An Essay.

So my uncle loans me this car. A fully electric, bright blue and white, Kia Soul. 

I have exactly zero cars at the moment… so a free car sounds kind of amazing, and also my uncle is being super sweet. And I’m a hippie. Electric? Green? Be still my liberal heart. 

I should add, I can rock my raybans, wind in my hair, blasting Black Sabbath and literally wearing my black belt and still fail, utterly, to look cool in this car. 

The car apparently has a 200km range on it when the battery is full. If you have read the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, you may be familiar with the concept of “Bistromatics”. This refers to a number that can only be anything OTHER than what it purports to be. In this case, a 200 km range.

Perhaps it’s 200km on a level road, in good weather, at a constant speed, with no stereo, no climate control, and barely any load excepting, perhaps, a reasonably svelte driver who doesn’t mind carrying on a running dialogue of pep-talking the car.

Otherwise, it’s something like 75k before the car gently and politely starts telling you that you’re utterly fucked in about 25k. It likes to tell you this when it’s >25k from home.

So, I’m on my way home at night when this happens. I have never experienced having to plug in a car. The whole idea is surreal. Is there a dynamo crank? A place to stuff a couple of AA batteries? Does it have a remote control? I have no idea where to go, what it costs, how long it takes. I pull over in downtown Hamilton and go to the dojo at McMaster U, the only place I can think of that will have chargers.

Then I have to work out how to use it. Download an app, create an account, load up some credits, plug in your car like a glorified toy and… sit in it. With no heat and no music. For however long it takes. Longer, presumably, than charging a phone.

I spend a few hours in a foul mood, in the dojo parking lot, at midnight, fuming. 

So I crawl in cold and hungry and irate after midnight last night, declaring loudly that this car is not for me. Everyone wants me to love the car. I do not love the car. I do not even have a genial relationship with the car. The capability of the car is one step above an e-bike with a slightly oversized basket. 

Tito regales me with all the things I could have done differently to avoid this, while I sit there and protest that I DID do all these things, that I AM smarter than the average bear, that I DO know how to read the gauges. Then I insist on taking my parents civic because fuck-this-YOU-drive-the-thing-since-you’re-so-smart.

This evening he calls me up around 9pm and tells me “I ran out of battery, please come get me”.

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9 responses to “I hate my EV. An Essay.”

  1. lisaheidel Avatar
    lisaheidel

    Dear Shireen,

    I never do this. Writing people who write hundreds of people seems foolish. I try not to be foolish.

    However, you have reappeared in my inbox. Whao! I have been off social media for three plus years which between Covid and having my house burn down in January has given me a very peculiar relationship with time. I still think of you as just having gotten your first dog, Ayra and some other ancient news. Why you were gone or not gone, who knows.

    Now for the part you really need to hear. I LOVE having you back. Your first email about just being back on the blog was nice. This one was perfect. I laughed so hard. I could add to your comments on electric cars. Cars in general make me slightly nutty as they just need to run. Why is that so hard? But then, AI makes me anxious for our planet and our minds. Everyone else seems to think it the next coming of something. I do not know what. Rubbish.

    Please know that you were missed. You are needed. You are treasured from parts unseen by you. You go girl!

    Have a fabulous Wednesday as they often masquerade as Mondays. 😉

    Cheers,

    Lisa

    Reply
    1. The Blue Brick Avatar
      The Blue Brick

      You just put a huge smile on my face :) I’m grateful that you stayed subscribed to us, even though it’s been so long! I applaud your choice to step back from social media. If we weren’t social media based, I suspect we would too. Always feel free to email me directly at support@thebluebrick.ca if you prefer a better chat forum :) Thank you for your kind words Lisa!

      Reply
  2. Donna Friesen Avatar
    Donna Friesen

    our family owned a second hand Nissan Leaf (2012). My husband milked that car for all it’s worth, it was only getting 30 km on a charge near the end. He loved it, said the ride was like a Cadillac and would do anything to keep it charged. He had all the memberships and of course the fastest was BC hydro charge points.

    You either love them or hate them! We recently bought a Tesla model Y and arel in love with the energy cost savings and the while.our family is two thumbs up for electric vehicles.

    When you buy, choose wisely!

    Reply
    1. The Blue Brick Avatar
      The Blue Brick

      Oh I’m glad! I confess, I do NOT miss having to get gas!

      Reply
  3. wigginswordsandimages Avatar
    wigginswordsandimages

    It’s so good to see your posts back! I have missed you. This one was of the “I don’t know whether laugh of cry” variety, but it did give me a chuckle. I live in Kerrville, Texas. If the news gets all the way across the northern border, which I’m pretty sure it does, (tarriff-free, I hope), you might know we have had catastrophic flooding with much destruction and many deaths. I am fortunately fine, but my community is hurting, so every little chuckle helps. I need to replace my late husband’s 16-year-old Toyota pretty soon (I gave my Nissan to my granddaughter when she got her driver’s license), and I’ve consiered an EV, but you’ve talked me out of it. Maybe a hybrid.

    Reply
    1. The Blue Brick Avatar
      The Blue Brick

      Oh my goodness, Jill! Thanks for reading! I just subscribed to yours as well, and this paragraph “Things I never imagined saying: “Please don’t lick your foot.” “No, I don’t owe you fake fingernails.” And the the winner, one night when I was so tired I was ready for bed before the grandkids: “As long as you don’t set the house on fire I don’t care what you do.”” gave me such a smile!
      Sending love and hugs from north of the border, yes, we have heard about the catastrophic flooding and we are praying for Texas. If there is anything I can do, or send, please don’t hesitate to ask!
      Love
      S.

      Reply
      1. wigginswordsandimages Avatar
        wigginswordsandimages

        How sweet of you to reply! I don’t need anything, but a lot of folks here will take a long time to recover. I also wanted to let you know that I suspended (quit?) the wigginwordsandimages blog and I do all my blogging on my art blog, jillybeanswiggins.wordpress.com After years of putting “art” on the bottom of the to-do list, after the dishes and the laundry and the sweeping are done, I have finally begun to prioritize art. I don’t sell my work, I do it for my soul. I have a group that meets weekly, and we share ideas and support each other. So watch for updates!

      2. The Blue Brick Avatar
        The Blue Brick

        Awesome! I will keep my eyes peeled!

  4. Saumya Avatar
    Saumya

    so this comment made me chuckle… We had this original problem when we only had our Nissan leaf. However, once we also added a Tesla Y (with the extended long range package), we have been able to safely and comfortably explore more of the US. I don’t worry and I really appreciate the fact that the supercharger network is so well-established that the car actually reroutes us to the nearest supercharger when we need it.

    Reply

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